marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
