your parents love me but you hate me
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
