Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
