When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize