currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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