It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
