Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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