But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
