she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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