new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
