Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
