her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
