It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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