i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
