are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
50% drunk capacity currently
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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