i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
