She said her name was "party"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
