I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
