You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
