just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
