Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
