he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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