Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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