Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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