Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
