and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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