I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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