yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
