Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
