yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize