you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
