im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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