Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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