Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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