can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
