my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
only if we run a train.
done.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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