so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
