Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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