you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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