i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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