she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
