btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
