So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
