He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize