Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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