"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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