guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
