I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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