Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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