He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
