thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
