Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
