Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize