Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so let's talk penis.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
