I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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