dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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