super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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