Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
