on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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