Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Non-Jews are for practice
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
