the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
