I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
