you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
