She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
