You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
