it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
